I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm at about main and main street
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize