Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
