he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
