what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
