If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Randomize
