Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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