Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
it's like iHOP with fire
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize