To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
