Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
