im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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