i jhust puked up my retainher.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
