It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
My pussy is not your playground.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
