It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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