Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
