I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
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