Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
