My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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