That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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