Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
