There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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