Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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