I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
