I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
