there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
