Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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