its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
