she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
