I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
