I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize