If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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