It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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