do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
