He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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