I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
