I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
