Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
