all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
