Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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