Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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