Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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