If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she woke up with a sticky ear
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
