Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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