I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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