it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
