I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize