nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
