Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
