Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Randomize
