did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
