yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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