Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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