Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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