oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
