So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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