piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
