i permit you to call me
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Randomize
