dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
