You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i will never coherently bang her
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
