Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i think i scared a bird with my dick
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
