I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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