Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
