i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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