The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
